Everything is quiet now, the sound of my own breathing becomes a low malicious hum. In my mind, you still exist in the strangest of places. The places where time no longer exists, where the entire universe is one fluid movement carrying everything out to the sea.
The memories I have of you now exist only as a feeling: the feeling of reading poetry to you out loud in the dark while my hands were sweating, the feeling of making love to you in the middle of the forest without a single sound, the feeling of telling you that I no longer loved you.
The feeling of losing you, how for months I would find myself on the five-south quietly crying— feeling lost in the truest sense. The feeling of waking up inside of someone else’s life, wondering where the person I had been with you for so many years had gone. And I think of those tiny little slips in time, where for a second I felt like I could reach out and touch that person again but it would all disappear as suddenly as it had came.
Your ghost still haunts me, he still finds me in my sleep, I still wake up crying for you.